insurmountable

I wrote this while feeling sorry for myself on another bad day of eating food that I know I should leave alone. I never had addictions to alchohol or drugs but high carb foods seem to be my weakness. If you can't wax cathartic on your blog where can you?

Insurmountable?

Another day of loss another battle lost
To find that I am now not up to the challenge if I ever was
I stand before you a man defeated
By his own personal demons

Another day of loss another day of rebirth follows
The renewal from the act of receiving a new day
To redeem the tired heart
To rekindle the fighters fire

With but that first step mountains can be raised
With but that first step the darkness can be set ablaze
With but that first step the fears can be quieted yet again

The battle for my very well being
Is one fought on ancient soil
Sumer and akkadian whispered the root
The battle for my well being
Is fought in forest tangled
Of my memories ragged and demoralized
By the things I have done
Or worse yet allowed to be done

The first step is oft time the most difficult
As it is a step into the unknown
But what care I for the fear of the unknown?
I've seen the known I've lived and live the known
It is away from known that I must now traverse.
My own enemy myself my curse.

My fears of root and tangle and darkness
My salvation in axe and shear and beacon
Tools to lay siege to inner habit
Self reflection to self direction from self derilection

The first step a promise to one self
The next step one of action shot from right path
Further the trip and journey
Further to the enjoyable fruits I might hath.

A.E. Horton
10-26-2009